Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
