I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
