she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
