You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
