i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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