ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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