told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
