my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
