He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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