can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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