Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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