I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
