i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
