Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
