Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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