Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
