but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
