Don't you send me to vm
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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