So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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