My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
party gras won. party gras always wins.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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