last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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