Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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