Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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