yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
