well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
