apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
