It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
