his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
