She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
