So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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