I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
God, I missed his penis.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
