Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
