last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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