I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
