just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
