I'm laying in your front yard are you home
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
