that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize