I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
