Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
