The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
