When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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