***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I cut my penus on the lid.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
