I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
