But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
