Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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