I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
