You really coming over, don't trick.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I will pee on everything he values.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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