she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
