i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
