one might say we're banned from that church
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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