So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
