sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
