..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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