fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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