90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
