But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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