Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
