Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
