I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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